


The Very Unexpected Diary of Bofur

by windfallswest



Series: The Very Unexpected Diaries [8]
Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings - All Media Types
Genre: Crack, Epistolary, Gen, Humor, Very Secret Diary
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-24
Updated: 2013-12-24
Packaged: 2018-01-05 22:54:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 216
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1099539
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/windfallswest/pseuds/windfallswest
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Still finishing up <i>Unexpected Journey</i>. <i>Desolation of Smaug</i> to follow (probably).</p>
    </blockquote>





	The Very Unexpected Diary of Bofur

**Author's Note:**

> Still finishing up _Unexpected Journey_. _Desolation of Smaug_ to follow (probably).

**The Very Unexpected Diary of Bofur**

 

**Day 1**  
Have not had good night's sleep in a week. Fili and Kili making noise at all hours. Bombur snoring too loud to notice. Didn't even wake up when Gloin shaved top of his head.

 

**Day 60**  
Not sure about this Bilbo fellow; can't even take a little sexual innuendo.

 

**Day 97**  
Knew I brought that mattock along for a reason.

 

**Day 108** Bombur says at least half of Company now shagging. Maybe will organise make-out party as morale- and team-building activity. Disco ball I found in Elrond's back closet would be just the thing. 

 

**Day 118**  
Left Rivendell today; glad to finally see the back of that place! Far too peaceful: Balin has been using me as test subject for poncy hair-plaitng techniques. Luckily, hat hides multitude of sins.

 

**Day 166**  
That is one fuck-ugly orc. I would spend all my life crouching down dark hole too if had goiter larger than whole head flapping around. 

 

**Day 169**  
Would be surprised Thorin and burglar not gotten it together by now, but am starting to suspect both lacking the good sense Mahal gave a mustard seed, as well as any sense of self-preservation. Disagree with Bombur: Bifur may not have to kill them whether or not they try anything.


End file.
